


The Confession

by Fandom_girl21



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Inspired by Mess's amazing fanfic, M/M, i hope you all like it, these two are killing me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 05:06:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_girl21/pseuds/Fandom_girl21
Summary: Inspired by the bulling scene and Raphael's reaction here's my take on what other reason he had for acting out like that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [messingaround](https://archiveofourown.org/users/messingaround/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The New Dad(s) in Town](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6150186) by [messingaround](https://archiveofourown.org/users/messingaround/pseuds/messingaround). 



Raphael is in his room, staring at his bruised knuckles. He closed his eyes and flops backward onto the bed.

He took a shaky breath in and out. He looked up to see Gabriel softly enter his room.

"You didn't need to do that."

"Yes I did. He's an asshole and he deserves what he got."

Gabriel sighs and rubs a hand down his face.

"Raphael. I'll be fine. It's not even true, it's not like —"

Gabriel's eyes widened when he saw Raphael begin to sniff and look away. He rushed to his side.

"Raph? Raphael what is it? Did that guy say —"

"What if it's true for me?"

Raphael asked softly, his fingers clenched tightly, his nails digging into his palms sharply.

"I - I love you either way. I mean obviously. Raphael what is it? Why are you ashamed?"

He asked softer, a hand going to touch his older brother's who tried to wrench away.

"Because - its - because of people like Jimmy. I shouldn't care I know that. But then I see that, and I - I'm a coward Gabriel. I —"

Gabriel pulled him closer, holding him tightly.

"That's not a true. A coward wouldn't risk his perfect attendance and fingers by punching someone. What if they had broken Raphael? You wouldn't have been able to surgeon."

Raphael sniffed and nodded.

"I - I guess. I wasn't really thinking of that. I just - I saw him hurting you and I saw red."

Gabriel nodded holding him tightly rubbing his back slightly.

"I know, I believe you. I just - what brought this suddenly on? Like, you've been a little distracted all week."

Raphael pulled away and looked at him slightly surprised.

"I - I have? Really?"

Gabriel nodded letting his arms fall away but not putting anymore space between them.

"Yeah. I mean you're always been quiet —"

Raphael snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Gee, thanks —"

"But you always tell me about anything you learn at the end of the day and this week you haven't so... what's up? Is just... this?"

Raphael gave him an amused grin.

"The fact that I've finally accepted I'm gay? No. No I suppose it's not. Close the door."

Gabriel eyes widened and he did as he was told, his eyes beginning to glitter with their old light again.

"It's a secret? Oh I'm excited."

Raphael rubbed the back of his head.

"It's not really big secret, nothing happened it just was a catalyst that made me think of all this stuff."

Gabriel nodded and gave him an exasperated look.

"Okay, okay, fine. What is it??"

"Remember the fair we went to last weekend?"

Gabriel gave him an odd look but slowly nodded.

"Yeah.. why?"

Raphael looked at the ground, his cheeks feeling warm.

"Raphael!! Come on!"

Gabriel whined shoving him playfully.

"I - remember I went back to try my hand at that shooting game?"

Gabriel nodded.

"You really wanted that stuffed koi fish."

Raphael nodded.

"Anyway I didn't get it, it was really hard —"

Gabriel gave him a look of confusion and pointed to said koi fish resting in the corner of his bed.

Raphael nodded at it and looked back at Gabriel.

"But this kid saw how upset I got and said he'd get it for me."

Gabriel's eyes widened and he beamed.

"No way."

Raphael nodded beginning to smile.

"He was really good to. He got it for me in two tries."

"Wow. Not even Michael could do that!"

"I _know_! I said thanks and asked if he went to our in school because I never saw him before."

"And?"

"He didn't. He lives a few towns away but his parents really wanted to take his brothers and in him to the fair this time so they made the trip."

"Aww, that's nice of them."

Raphael nodded he looked distracted again.

"He said his name was Azazel and when I said he didn't have to spend money to get me the koi fish he winked and said it was worth to see me smile."

Gabriel gasped and beamed pulling Raphael into a hug.

"You have a crush!!"

Raphael laughed and looked back at the koi fish, he smiled.

Maybe he did.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a couple weeks since Raphael and Gabriel talked. Things were slowly coming back to normal. Papa and Daddy had taken them to local bookstore at Papa's request. Apparently they had a rare tomb about witches that might help one of the hunters they'd talked to recently.

The brothers split up to different corners of the store. Raphael went to the fantasy section while Gabriel browsed the adventure one a few feet away.

Michael was trying to find the next book in the detective series he'd recently become obsessed with.

Lucifer was in the far back, looking at the occult material.

"The best ones are on the top shelf. I think Ralph keeps them up there so not many people notice and he can keep them for himself."

Lucifer turned and smiled amusedly at the boy around his brother's age.

"Oh really? What's your favorite one."

Lucifer waited for the boy to tell him some pansy one like Grimoire Of The Grand Coven.

The boy smirked.

"Book of The Damned. It was a fun read, even more fun to translate and break the code."

Lucifer turned to him with a new eye.

"You were able to crack that? What's your name?"

A couple hours later Castiel was ready to check out. He smiled as he saw Michael and Gabriel had a couple books to read. Raphael had a small stack, he rested them on a nearby table.

"Dean, have you seen Lucifer?"

Dean shook his head.

"Luce! Come on! We need to go!"

Lucifer emerged a few minutes later and gestured to boy next to him.

"Sorry, I was talking with Azazel."

Dean and Castiel seemed to freeze at the name but the children didn't seem to notice. Raphael swiveled to look as he heard the name.

His throat went dry, Azazel wad looking straight at him. When he was sure no one was looking he winked at him.

"Hi! I'm Gabriel. You live around here Azazel?"

Azazel waved and shook his head.

"No, a couple of towns over. Tamiel and Ramiel both like the shops here and since they've been pretty good Dad brought us over. I should be going though, Dad promised Gadreel we could stop by at the nearby Aquarium and I really want to see the new Koi Fish exhibit."

Raphael swallowed he wasn't sure if he really loved koi fish this much or he said it for his own benefit.

Azazel waved to them all and disappeared from the shop.

Castiel grasped Dean's wrist when he swiveled after the kid and squeezed. They couldn't do this here, not when the kids didn't know anything.

Dean nodded as he met his eyes in passing. They payed for the kids books and went home.

It was much later in the day, when they both were alone that they got to talk about it.

"I'm calling him."

Dean said breaking the tense silence. He put his bottle on the counter and closed his eyes.

A chair scraped against the wooden floor as Chuck sat down and nodded at Castiel and looked at Dean expectantly.

"What's Yellow Eyes doing in a kids body?!"

Dean demanded.

Chuck leaned back and gave him a serene look.

"Azazel. His name is Azazel. And he's here for the same reason my archangels are, to understand humanity and to reconcile with his siblings."

"But why him?"

Dean demanded. He'd begun to pace and threw his hands up in exasperation.

"I mean he's ruined our lives. Gadreel used Sam. Ramiel was a prince of Hell, Tamiel used Clare's mom. Why do any of those angels need this??"

Chuck sighed.

"My children are not inherently evil or good. They are shades of gray like humans. They all deserve a second chance. And as for why these four specific ones? They were all Grigori, raised together and bound by blood. Azazel loved them all immensely and they in turn looked up to him for guidance. Hell, Gadreel and him were best friends since they were children."

Chuck sighed and stood rolling his shoulders.

"I know you don't like Dean and you every right to. You all do. But he came into the arch's lives now for a reason."

"And that reason is?"

Castiel asked speaking up for the first time since this conversation started. Chuck turned to him and met his eyes.

"They were mates Castiel. I created Azazel for Raphael. He was a lonely child and I promised him once I'd make him the perfect brother. I promised all of them that."

Chuck leaned his arms on the island and continued, taking in their shocked faces.

"Michael wanted someone who would fight for justice. Lucifer wanted someone who was inquisitive. Gabriel wanted someone who shared his sense of humor —"

"And Raphael? What did Raphael want?"

Dean asked his voice horse. The realization of all of this slowly settling in. The sheer shock making him sit down on the barstool.

"He wanted someone who completed and complimented him. He wanted his other half."

Castiel swallowed and met Dean's eyes.

"Angels mates are more than just a union of two graces, they are binding for eternity, we take monogamy very seriously."

Dean nodded and sighed, he knew how much angels valued loyalty. Hell it was the reason so many of them hadn't liked Castiel in the past. He took a long swig of his beer.

"Okay, okay, there has to be a reason they broke up right? They did didn't they?"

Chuck nodded, he looked briefly ashamed.

"It was predicated by circumstances but they did part ways, yes. There's a lot to their story, details that isn't in lore. I'll tell you more when and if they meet again."

"You mean we won't be seeing him again?"

Dean asked hopefully.

Chuck shook his head.

"You will, just depends how soon that is. If you want to start somewhere, I suggest Book of Enoch. You'll know the passage when you see it. Night guys."

Dean lay in bed hours later unable to sleep. He sighed and silently stood so as to not arouse Cass and grabbed his laptop.

He typed Book of Enoch into Google and scrolled through the results. He growled and rubbed his eyes, this was pointless, there was too many pages and he didn't even know what to be searching for.

In a fit of desperation he added Raphael and Azazel to the search term. He clicked on the first link and scrolled down till his eyes widened and he seemed to trouble breathing.

He assumed this was what Chuck meant. The text read:

 

> _And again the Lord said to Raphael:_
> 
> _"Bind Azazel hand and foot, and cast him into the darkness: and make an opening in the desert, which is in Dudael, and cast him therein. And place upon him rough and jagged rocks, and cover him with darkness, and let him abide there for ever, and cover his face that he may not see light. And on the day of the great judgment he shall be cast into the fire."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for going MIA for so long!! Hopefully I’m back! I found some inspiration for this fic! I hope you guys enjoy!

It was months later when they met again. Azazel was squatting in front of the main city library, painting a mural.

Raphael had a project to do on the colonial history of spices in America, he’d decided to go to main library instead of his school one, he assumed they’d have a wider selection.

His throat went dry as he saw him squatting there painting the fins of his koi fish. His face was angled away from him, the light of the sun making it difficult to see exactly who it was.

Still Raphael was able to know it was him, the boy who seemed to show up in the most unlikely of places, Azazel.

He ventured toward him, setting his books on the stoop next to him.

“You really seem to like koi fish.”

Azazel turned to look up at him and smiled.

“It’s the only thing I know about you, so it’s all I can paint. Care to gave me something to work with?”

Raphael hummed squatting down to his level to look closer at the koi fish. He blinked and stole a glance at the other boy. Was it just his imagination or was he more flushed than he had been before?

“I want to be a doctor.”

“You’ll cure cancer than one day.”

Azazel stayed matter of factly fluidly standing. He painted a Caduceus protruding from the koi fish’s back.

“How’s that?”

He asked watching as Raphael stood and looked at it. He bit his lip to keep from beaming. It was all the proof he needed. The glances were one thing, but this? No guy had ever cared this much of his interest.

He looked at him and took a steadying breath.

“Go out with me?”

Azazel beamed.

“Finally, I was starting to think it wouldn’t ever happen.”

Raphael shook his head chuckling to himself. Azazel sucked in a breath, the sun rays seemed to hit his face at just the right angle, it made his brown eyes sparkle, he looked like an angel.

“Raphael!! We need to go! Gabriel’s hockey game is soon!”

Raphael and Azazel turned to see Dean waiting by the car.

Raphael moved toward his father almost unconsciously. Azazel grabbed his wrist, they both stilled, the spark was almost electric.

Raphael met his eyes, and everything else seemed to fall away. Azazel swallowed trying to remember how to speak.

“You’re - you’re number. I don’t know where you live.”

Raphael gave that same amused smile and in a show of impulse grabbed Azazel’s hand the paint brush falling from his fingers.

Azazel stared as Raphael scrawled his number down, Azazel tried to keep his thoughts pure, to not wonder what else those strong hands could do to him. Raphael seemed like the kid that went to church, he didn’t want him to think he was crass.

“Text me okay? I’ll tell you the address.”

Raphael stayed a moment longer, his eyes searching Azazel’s face. Azazel wasn’t sure for what but he found himself leaning toward him.

“Raphael!! We need to go, _now_!!”

Raphael pulled quickly away, grabbing his books and ran to Dean who seemed to glare at Azazel.

Azazel watched the whole time as try pulled away and drove off. He swallowed hard. Dammit what was happening to him? This didn’t feel like just another crush.

Dean’s fingers on the steering wheel tightened as he replayed the scene over in his mind. They seemed almost drawn to each other, if he was a romantic he’d say like Cass and him. But he wasn’t and Azazel being a kid again didn’t excuse what he’d done.

What he was capable of, he seemed to be from the wrong side of the crowd, he wondered idly if this whole mate thing had happened if Raphael would still be attracted to that piece of shit.

He glanced in the rear view mirror to see Raphael staring out the window, a small smile on his face. Dean swallowed. He hated this.

He hadn’t shown Cass the passage he’d found, Cass seemed to be in denial, to pretend that Raphael wasn’t in danger...

The doorbell rang at 7pm that night, Castiel rose an eyebrow as Raphael sprinted to the door and opened it. Castiel forced himself not to flinch as he saw Azazel lounging against the doorframe. He straightened as soon as the door opened.

He smiled warmly at Raphael dragging his eyes away long enough to nod at Castiel.

“Hello sir.”

Castiel nodded and promptly went to get Dean by the time he’d found him in the garage the other three boys had come to see what was happening.

It made Castiel’s skin crawl to see Azazel already carrying an easy conversation with all of them, as if he was already integrated into their lives.

“Raphael, can we talk to you for a minute, alone?”

Raphael swallowed and nodded. He looked to Azazel who gave him an encouraging smile.

It made Dean’s blood boil to see Raphael asking this kid he’d met only three times for advice, he didn’t even know him!!

Raphael walked slowly to the kitchen, his shoulders straight as he turned to face Castiel and Dean.

“I know you don’t like him, I can see it in your face. But he’s nice, and he makes me laugh. It’s just one date... bythewayimgay.”

He mumbled the last part to himself as he looked away ashamed ready for the lecture, of how he was just confused, or too young to know, or —

“And we love you Raphael, always. It’s okay. I just - you don’t know him, what if he hurts you or —“

“He won’t Papa!! I know he won’t! I don’t know how but I just - I feel like I can trust him, live he’s the piece I’ve been missing all my life. I know it sounds insane, I barley believe it. It scares me but —“

“So don’t do it.”

Dean finally said seizing on the hesitation. Raphael looked at him confused, Daddy was always saying to them to get better, to fight for what they thought was right.

“I - I - what? But you always say —“

“I know, I know what I say but sometimes it’s good to trust your instincts. Look Raphael it’s not too late to turn away, to stay home. Just please stay —“

Raphael stiffened, he was trying to manipulate him! To make him stay home and waist the one opportunity he may have had to get to know Azazel.

“No! No you’re just doing what Lucifer does and trying to manipulate me!! No!!”

He ran past Dean and Castiel and to the front door, he grabbed Azazel’s wrist and ran down the stairs.

“Where are we going?”

“I - uh - you sure everything is okay Raphie? I mean we don’t have to —“

“Everything is fine, where are we going?”

Azazel swallowed, making a mental note to never make him mad at him. He was scary.

“Gadreel is around the corner, there’s a lake nearby and I thought we could go there and just walk around? Do you like it? I - I didn’t really want to do the cliche thing and —“

Azazel swallowed as Raphael’s hand slid down his wrist to hold his hand and squeeze it.

“I love it, let’s go.”

Dean swore as Raphael ran off. He ushered the rest of the boys inside and closed the door. Michael looked after them thoughtfully.

Dean gave a internal sigh of relief, if there was anyone that Raphael would listen to, it was Michael.

“What did you think of him? Of Azazel?”

“He - he has an energy, a restlessness that worries me, but Raphael seemed to calm him down.., he went on a date didn’t he Dad?”

Dean swallowed nodding, he wasn’t sure what to say.

Castiel went to the garden he turned when he felt Chuck’s presence.

“Will you tell me their history now?”

Chuck sighed and nodded.

“Azazel became what he became because his grace was stripped and he spent eons locked away, the isolation fermenting his anger more and more.”

Castiel swallowed, he now understood the broken feelings that had come from Dean that night.

“He did it didn’t he? Raphael stripped him of his grace? Why?”

Chuck nodded gravelly.

“Yes, why else? Because I asked Michael to make an example of Azazel. To make an example of Raphael him specifically, to show every angel that even an archangel’s love couldn’t save them form my wrath.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys want to see!!


End file.
